


A typical start that has nothing to do with the story

by Bunnybitz



Category: South Park
Genre: Fourth Wall Breaking, Make fun, Other, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 11:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17099534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunnybitz/pseuds/Bunnybitz
Summary: Kyle is looking for something to read online, and Stan comes in. When the two start having weird thoughts about each other, fanfiction versions of themselves come to explain it.





	A typical start that has nothing to do with the story

**Author's Note:**

> I just thought it was important that I mentioned I’m kinda poking fun at myself here too. Strange Kyle’s design is based almost directly from one I gave him in a roleplay once, and he acts pretty similar as well. I just thought I’d write this to kinda make fun of myself lmao. I was putting effort into it at the beginning then I kinda stopped caring lmao. If you feel called out, good. Me too my dude

Class assigned reading was pretty much the one thing that would collectively make everyone scream for their lives and crawl under their desks like there was some sort of earth quake tearing down the ceiling. There were some kids that as much as they hated it, they’d just go ahead and do it. Like Wendy for example. Her and the group of girls would generally go to their meeting place for everyone to gather with popcorn and m&ms while they listened to Wendy read whatever the boring ass reading was this time. Of course the girls ended up doing it, they were girls. Boys would tend to just shove the book into the bottom of their book bag, pulling out an entity vaguely resembling what the book had once been. If it was on papers, it was even worse. That thing would just be scrambles of dust resting among pop tart crumbs and spilled soda. The fourth grade class hated in class reading, and just burst into laughter when it was suggested to them as a way to pass time. None the less, Kyle still some how found his mouse scrolling through pages of google, scanning for a story to read.

The knob clicked, and the door was pushed open. 

“Hey dude.” Stan walked into the room, going to stand next to the desk where Kyle resided. 

“Wanna go play football or something?”

“I’m actually looking for something to read. Surprising, I know.”

Stan shrugged. “I mean, not particularly. You read articles of random things on the internet all the time.”

“Oh. Well I mean like, an actual story.”

“Like a book? Why dude?”

“Because I didn’t have anything better to do. But now I’m mad google is a little cunt and won’t bring anything interesting up.”

“Well, what did you search?”

“Stories about fourth graders. I was trying to see if the stories portray fourth grade life accurately.”

Stan let out a chuckle. “Now that’s a lot more like you dude.”

Stan didn’t even realize he had laughed. Had Kyle always been that funny? He supposed he had always been the same. Kyle had always been well, not different from other kids, but his own person. He was never afraid to speak his mind, but cared for the feelings of others at the same time. He was a good person to have as a friend.

“Stan?” 

Kyle made a face, turning the swivel chair he was sitting in to face Stan. Stan was simply just, standing there. Not really doing anything particularly. 

“Stan..?” Kyle repeated. 

Suddenly, Stan snapped back to reality. 

“Dude.....I was just like.....I was thinking all weird and gay. And my thought process was like long and detailed as if I was explaining it to someone or something?”

“Whoa, that’s weird. Explain more.”

Kyle enjoyed hearing Stan speak. His voice was always that right tone, no matter what he was saying. It sounded pretty similar when he was mad, happy, neutral, and pretty much any other emotion. He liked When Stan went into detail about things, though he didn’t often. The raven haired boy often came to him to express his troubles-

“KYLE!” Stan’s hoarse voice shouted, causing Kyle to jump slightly. 

“I-I think you were doing it too.”

“The weird thought thing? Oh my god yeah....like I was thinking about how I liked hearing you speak? It was fucking weird!”

“What is happening to us?” The two boys wondered in unison. 

They liked how their voices sounded together, but neither one was going to admit it. It was always the right blend of sound waves, breaking the deep, cold silence.

“We were doing it at the same time, weren’t we?” Kyle asked.

Stan nodded. “Yeah....yeah I think we were actually....this is some fucked up shit right here......what exactly were you looking at on your computer?”

Kyle turned back to his computer. “Well I hadn’t actually......-“ He paused. 

“Wh-When did I get on this site?”

“What is it?”

“Something called archive of our own, Ao3 for short? What is this...? South Park fan fiction, Style?”

“What the hell is Style?” Stan made a face.

“We could show you.”

Both boys turned their heads, jumping. There sitting on Kyle’s bed, was two assumably grown up males. One had long, Ginger hair in a ponytail, freckles decorating his body. He was dressed in very short pink denim shorts and an orange sweater, accompanied by tall heeled orange boots that went past his knees, and a black spiked choker.   
The other had short black hair, and was very tall and muscular. He had on an average white t-shirt with blue jeans.

Kyle’s automatic reaction was to point to the two strangers and exclaim:

“Okay, dude what the fuck?”

The ginger moved his head, resting it in the crease of the muscular figure’s neck. 

“I’m sad you don’t recognize us...” He made a false sad frown, then smiled again. “We share a name, green hat.”

Kyle raised a brow. “Kay....Cool.”

The tall, muscular figure put his hand under the Ginger’s chin, rubbing his thumb against his face. 

“I don’t think he’s getting it, sweetheart. Look guys, we’re you.”

Stan and Kyle (the normal ones) looked at each other, then back at the two on the bed. 

“Excuse me...what?”

“I used to be you. So innocent except I wasn’t because I was a character on a raunchy tv show that was simply written for adults to enjoy.”

“What happened dude? Did you get possessed by Micheal Jackson or something?” Stan asked jokingly. Him and Kyle both chuckled. 

“Oh, no. Not at all, though I’m sure there are stories where that happens.” 

“Stories?” Kyle raised any eyebrow. “Wait, you’re from one of the stories on this website? Are you why I’m on it?”

The strange older versions of the two laughed. 

“Oh, yes. In fact, there are many stories that portray us this way.”

“Okay....another question, why are you guys all touchy?” Kyle and Stan looked at each other again. 

The strange Stan pulled his Kyle’s face forward, and into a kiss. The strange Kyle let out a long moan, his hand resting on the sweaty back of the raven haired boy’s neck. 

“Dude......” Both had weirded out expressions on their faces. 

The strange Stan pulled back, his Kyle falling to rest his head against his chest. 

“Because we’re in love. We were very close friends as children but, never realized our true potential until we were older.” The strange Stan answered with a calm smile.

“Wh-Whoa dude! Me and Kyle are just super best friends, w-we haven’t even been as close as we used to be in recent years....which I regret...but-Wait, why did I say that?”

“Because the writer wants it to be true.” The strange Kyle giggled.

“The writer?” Stan tilted his head.

“Oh never mind. Anyways. Many people think you guys aren’t only super best friends, but super best boyfriends!” The strange Kyle held his own face with a smile. His Stan looked at him with a smirk. 

“Darling, who said you could hold your face? It’s mine, only.” 

The strange Kyle made a false worried face. “O-Oh no....what are you going to do about it?” He smirked, a sinful look in his eye.

“Well you might just find out.” The strange Stan put a hand against his Kyle’s chest, ripping the buttons on his shirt undone. He pushed the ginger flat onto the bed. Strange Kyle stared up at him with loving eyes. He- 

“Okay, WHAT THE FUCK?! People are writing us fucking each other?” Stan had on a horrified expression.

“Dude! We’re children!”

“At least this author had the decency to age us up. Not all do. Poor Karen and Kenny, most sexual incestual child couple I’ve ever seen.” 

“A-Aww! Sick dude! A-And I’m not all weak and gay like that! And why is my hair so long?”

“Because instead of creating her own character, the author just made an aged up version of a character from a cartoon.”

“That’s fucking weird! Wait wait wait, why were our thoughts going all gay earlier?” Stan asked.

The strange Kyle chuckled. “Because we were coming. Because this is all a parody.”

The door opened, the orange parka wearing Kenny walking in.

“Mhp-mhp-mhp?” (Dude, What the fuck?)

“They’re some weird fan fiction versions of us! Apparently this is like an adult cartoon on tv and teenage girls take us and make us into...into....well this!” Kyle held his arms towards the two on his bed.

“Mph-Mph mph. Mph mph mph.” (Oh calm down dude. I’ve seen weirder.)

“Seriously? How?!”

Kenny slipped off his hood. “That’s just how it-.....why did I take off my hood? I almost never do that!”

“The writer was too lazy to keep putting in ‘mphs.’ The strange Kyle laughed.

“You said that earlier too! Wait....is this just a fan-fiction? Like someone is writing us all right now?”

The strange Kyle sat up, nodding. “That’s why it had that really detailed beginning that had pretty much nothing to do with the rest of the story.”

“What? Dude this is so weird....so I’m not even controlling my own words?” Kyle asked.

“Nope. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to go fuck now.” The two strange fan fiction characters disappeared. 

The three stood in silence for a small period of time. 

“So how did my computer get on the site again?”


End file.
